“The Wonderland Ballroom, long the bane of refined District society, turns fifteen this August 4th, and we cordially invite all of your to come celebrate our quinceañera!
It’s hard not to get choked up thinking back on how our baby girl has grown! All the friends made, all the weirdos encountered, all the whiskey poured, all the terrible, horrible, very bad, double plus ungood mistakes enabled! It almost makes you want to drink!
SUNDAY, August the Fourth, we are throwing this place the Quince she deserves! FREE pupusa bar starting at 4:00PM and ending whenever the hell Anabel Ramirez says it ends. MARIACHI band from 7:00PM ’til 8:00PM. It seems like a horrible idea to let our staff swing around a bat after drinking, but we’re very obviously doing PINATAS. It also seems like a bad idea, but we’re obviously doing an ICE LUGE. Very possibly the worst of all ideas, the owners, whenever they deem themselves drunk enough, will also be giving a well-worded TOAST reflecting on fifteen years of not being shut down.
Dress to impress, folks! This is a fancy place, and this is a VERY fancy 15th birthday!”